From My Pad to Yours

Dear Diary,

Today, Kami took me to this wonderful French place called La Madeleine. It was so yummy!
I got to meet Future Food TV Star! She's way cool. For lunch, we had Spinach Salad, Potato and Cheddar Soup, Tomato Basil Soup, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, and Strawberries Romanoff. So very yummy.

Here I am with Kami's son and FFTVS. Kami's son doesn't really care for me, but we can't figure out why.

So, Kami and the MILF took me to Dallas Arboretum today for some pictures. Wow. I could totally live there. And guess what we found: THE BIGGEST FROG EVER!!!




The MILF put me down here so I could see if I was dealing with a boy or girl frog before I started scamming. I was scamming on the MILF, but Kami said something about a gimpy Sugar Daddy, and besides, the MILF has some serious baggage. Like two heavy, over-packed, needy suitcases. Fo sho.

Speaking of...

Kami's son called this a rat, but I believe it's an armadillo. It wasn't interested in me.

Gawd. She took my picture in the pumpkin patch. Some passers-by mentioned that some freaks out there pass a Pez dispenser around the world. Whatever. What a bunch of weirdos.

Dear Diary,

I'm in Texas now! Wow. It's so cool here. Well, not like temperature cool, but cool cool. Okay, it's cool now that it's nighttime and all. So, I got here to DallasKs house today. They don't actually live in Dallas proper, but out in the 'burbs. Kami said something about crime rates and smog or something. So, all that crap you've heard about Texans is so wrong! The DallasKs don't even say "y'all!!!" They say, "you guys," just like my buddies out in California. And they don't wear cowboy boots. Okay, so I had a long trip from Charlotte's, so I'm going to bed soon.
Kami made me some Chicken Piccata, Fettuccini Alfredo, and broccoli for dinner. She tried to make me drink milk like little DallasK, but I protested until I got a glass of wine like she had. She's a freak, man. She wigs out if there's a fly in the kitchen when she's cooking. I say, "What's the big deal? I love flies!"

She put me to bed in Nik's chair with the blanket that Charlotte made me. Isn't is sweet? She made me sleep with a stuffed donkey (something about Democrats or some crap) and a stuffed Bevo (whatever that is). Goodnight, all.

Crazy Legs is on his way to his 5th destination!

Here is an update of mileage traveled thus far:

Philadelphia, PA to Rocklin, CA - 2786 miles
Rocklin, CA to Seattle, WA - 771 miles
Seattle, WA to Troutdale, OR - 183 miles
Troutdale, OR to Allen, TX - 2112 miles
Total mileage - 5852 miles

That frog is getting lots of frequent fly-er miles!

Well Kristine was right when she said Crazy Legs likes to hit the bottle. He’s a bit hung over this morning and unable to update everyone on his night last night, so I will take over the honors.

Last night around 3 a.m. I was awaken by a loud knock on my door. It was the police. Seems Crazy Legs threw a little party last night and got a bit carried away. I’m not sure I have gotten all the story here as to how the party came to be, but here is what I know.

Yesterday he and I went for a walk down the trails behind my house. There is a creek back there that he decided to take a quick swim in. At first I thought it would be quick and then we would go home and finish baking our peanut butter croakies. But after an hour swim, he came back with a few frogs in tow. Crazy Legs was excited to tell me that he had come across a few of his cousins he hadn’t seen in several years. So, I was happy for him and decided that he could invite them all back to the house for croakies and milk, catch up on everything and then we would walk them back to the creek.

Well, that was my first mistake. They were rowdy, ate all the croakies and drank all the milk! My house was a disaster and I barely got the terrors to leave. Once they did, Crazy Legs and I went downstairs to finish our sewing projects he was helping me on. We talked about his pending trip to Kami'shouse and all the fun places he is getting to travel to. Nice afternoon.

Crazy Legs suggested we go out for pizza….and that was my second mistake. Come to find out, he had arranged for his frog cousins to sneak back in while we were gone and set up a kegger. They hid out down in the wood shop until we all had gone to bed. According to the story I was finally told, Crazy Legs and his cousins were quite the ornery boys growing up. So ornery that his Aunt and Uncle moved to the creek out back to get them all away from each other.

So anyway, they invited the whole frog community over to my back yard for a big party. They grilled burgers and hot dogs and drank the entire keg. After chasing all the neighborhood cats, they thought it would be fun to turn on the ceiling fans and see who could hold on the longest. They were so drunk that not only could they not hold on to the fan, they couldn’t hold their beer either.
The party got so loud and the cats were tired of being chased, so the police was called. They told him to pack his bags and move on by the next afternoon, or they would be back to take him and his froggie friends down to lock up.
I’m hoping he has a nice safe trip to Texas and I will be checking to make sure that he doesn’t have any stowaways for Kami’s sake!

My all time favorite movie star turns 50 today. We are baking a cake in his honor.

I have been having a lot of fun this week. Yesterday I went with Charlotte to the photography studio. They are in the middle of Senior pictures, so I got to meet a lot of people. I had a couple of photos taken of me and I got to pose with some of the girls. There was a creek running thru the property, so I snuck away for a quick swim and a bite of lunch.

Today, I learned how to sew. Charlotte has a very large order for raggedy dolls, so I decided to help out and sew them together.

Here I am modeling with all my handiwork. I think they would look better green, but I've been told that the customers aren't into "green" raggedies. I think I look rather adorable, so what could be so bad about green raggedies? Oh well. Time to go dress my new friends.

BLOG FROG UPDATE!

Crazy Legs is on his way to his 4th destination. Here is an update of mileage traveled thus far:

Philadelphia, PA to Rocklin, CA - 2786 miles
Rocklin, CA to Seattle, WA - 771 miles
Seattle, WA to Troutdale, OR - 183 miles

Total mileage - 3740 miles

Go, Crazy Legs, GO!

Time to hit the road!

Tonight was my last supper at Monkey Hill. We had homemade pizza and wine. I asked for dried flies as my topping, but J Bo was fresh out.




Darian took me shopping the other day. She said that if I happen to be in Mexico around the end of the month, I needed an outfit for Day of the Dead.

I've really enjoyed my stay here. Even though J Bo yells a lot, she still made me feel welcome and introduced me to lots of interesting things: her crazy dog and cats, the Seattle waterfront, her office, rush hour traffic, Nordstrom, mimosas, and overpriced cheese. None of which were captured on film since her camera batteries died a few days ago. I think the best part has been spending time with her daughter who told me that it's OK to get crazy and be silly most of the time. Even if I am already drunk.


My limo will be carrying me away tomorrow to head south. Portland, OR is my next stop where I'm looking forward to my next adventure with Charlotte. Good night!

Sunday Brunch in Seattle

Hello friends!

This morning I went to brunch here. Boy, was I glad to have that mimosa.

I never knew I liked dungess crab, nor that I was crazy over legs.


After stuffing myself to the gills, the waitress smothered me with kisses. Not only do I love to eat crab, but I am irresistible, and a wonderful tipper! Crazy!!

Wish you were here!

Seattle!

Dear Internet,

I have made it to Seattle! I am now staying at Monkey Hill, home to J Bo, her sexy husband-hubba hubba, and her cute daughter Darian.

Last night Darian took me into her playroom and we spent the whole night watching TV. She took away my tequila, but somehow, I still managed to get drunk. She says she wants to take me shopping for new clothes.

Tonight J Bo is going out for HAPPY HOUR and is taking me along. I am so jonesing for a drink right now.....


(www.cesioroujamais.blogspot.com)

BLOG FROG UPDATE!

Crazy Legs has arrived at his 3rd destination. Here is an update of mileage traveled thus far:

Philadelphia, PA to Rocklin, CA - 2786 miles
Rocklin, CA to Seattle, WA - 771 miles

Total mileage - 3557 miles

Good thing the little guy's got strong legs!

The Blog Frog stayed ONE night too many!!
Originally uploaded by randomandodd.

I walked in this morning to find THIS. Crazy Legs all spooned up with Minnie Mouse.
THANK GOD, Mickey is out of town on business because this COULD have gotten ugly. Especially since Donald now has a black belt!

I should have figured something was up when Crazy Legs was singing to me about a love of a mouse he once knew. He said her name was Molly.

Jbo, be careful while he's there. He's a drinker, has loose lips and is a grade A cuddlebug!

Best of Everything,
Kristine :)

The Frog has new digs!
Originally uploaded by randomandodd.

Dear Log,

For the love of all that is holy, please put me in the box and send me off to the next place.
I don't know how this woman does it. FIVE kids!

We went to the football game today. I almost had to sub in for one of the players. Good thing he showed up in time. They don't want a piece o' this frog.

Signed,
CLOH

Sacramento, California

Dear Log,

Today I went to school with Alyx Stone. It was thee most boring day of my whole life! That child is cute as all get out, but her teacher has an evil eye!

Some kid on the playground called me out. I had to defend Alyx's name. The little schoolyard tuffie didn't know that I came packaged with a heavy backpack! I told him back away, but the kid insisted on calling me a fly eater!
I have a feeling that he won't be involved in anymore scuffles with frogs anymore.

Kristine keeps trying to lick me. Something about Scotty Gee saying that I will give her a 'good trip'. I think she might have misunderstood him. I think he was just wishing me a good trip and she now thinks that if she gets a good tonguing in that she will see God.

This might come to fisticuffs!

I'm quite ready to head to my next destination. Unless of course Shaun decides to let me play in his football game tomorrow.

Kara said she wanted to take me to the mall and see if she could hook me up with some hotties.

Keeeeyyyy-Roak!